I am barely living. I wish I could be cheerful and happy. I wish I could forget everything even for minutes. This is insane but after all, living comes with these things in a package.

Some people came to me and talked about the depression they are currently facing now. I am glad that I could lend my ears to listen to the their unspoken feelings. Not having anyone to listen to you is really painful cause I was at that place two years ago. I kept quiet and remained silence, afraid if I'd bother anyone. I knew it was not right to stay silent but I was only capable of doing that.

I had bipolar disorder and depression and surprisingly, still. It was so bad. I did not want to go to school and getting out of bed was so tough. I was from daily school so its easy to skip school. Nobody would find you because its home. But for me, home was more like hell for reasons. I think I couldn't bear too much stress which resulted in my depression at that time. I was thirteen when I started to cut myself. I thought nobody would believe me for my depression because all I could think they would say is "You are still young its impossible to be depressed" and yeah I received that from a lot of people. It was really painful.

Everything was difficult until I fell sick for almost a week. I don't really remember what sickness it was but the doctor had noticed unusual things in me and told me to not stress myself that much. I cried and slept A LOT for the whole week. I did not tell anyone at school about it. My friends were really worried because its rare to see me not going to school. I missed a lot of lessons and had to catch up as soon as I recovered.
Everything was terrible.

 I entered a new school the next year which is my school now. It was fine until now. Alhamdulillah.

It is not easy to share things with people. It is not easy telling people this because some would simply insult or say that I am crazy. I have a lot to say but it is hard so I am going to leave it here. Until then, folks.

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